Submitted by Tyler Patton
| 1 c. butter | 2 eggs | |
| 1 ¼ c. brown sugar | 1 ¼ c. flour | |
| ½ tsp vanilla | 1 tsp baking soda | |
| ½ tsp cinnamon | 1/3 tsp salt | |
| 3 c. oatmeal | chocolate chips |
Cream the butter & sugars. Add the eggs & vanilla. Combine the dry ingredients & stir into creamed mixture. Sprinkle in chocolate chips. Shape the cookies into little round balls & place onto a greased pan.
Bake at 350°F for 10-12 minutes.
Enjoy!
Submitted by punch_it_chewie
Yields 2-3 cups
| 1 can tomato sauce | 1 can tomato paste | |
| 2 tbsp olive oil | 2 tbsp vinegar | |
| ¼ c. molasses | 2 tbsp brown sugar | |
| 3 cloves garlic, crushed | 4 tbsp red or white onion, minced | |
| 2 tbsp red pepper, minced | 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce | |
| 1 tsp cumin | 1 tsp chipotle chili pepper |
Cook the garlic, onion, & red pepper until it’s soft, & then add all the rest of the ingredients. Simmer on low for 20-30 minutes. Keep stirring it often so it doesn’t burn, then refrigerate for a few days before you use it. This allows the flavors to blend & mellow. The cumin & chipotle chile pepper can be substituted by any of your favorite spices.
Alright you askewbies… considering that we all come from a community based on the stoner humor of Jay & Silent bob, it’s appropriate that I did some googling to share these recipes with you.
I’m not going to “reprint” them here, just links. And I have no idea how accurate they are, but I have on good authority that they’re not going to lead you entirely astray.
First, you have to make the butter.
Then you can make some rice krispy treats.
For the chocolate lover, fudge or caramel might be in order.
Submitted by T.B. Player
| 2½ lbs boneless chicken breast | 1 lb bag frozen corn | |
| 3 large cans black beans (Goya recommended) | 1 large can hominy (white corn) | |
| 2 small cans tomato paste | 1 large can stewed tomatoes | |
| 3 whole limes | 2 large red onions | |
| 1 large white onions | 2 large green peppers | |
| 1 large red pepper | 1 large yellow pepper | |
| 1 large orange pepper |
Spices & Other ingredients used in prep:
| chili powder | cinnamon | cumin | ||
| crushed red pepper | black pepper | onion powder | ||
| garlic powder | olive oil | corn starch | ||
| minced garlic in water | 6 oz Jack Daniels | 2 oz Jose Cuervo | ||
| 8 oz orange juice | brown sugar | |||
| Key West lime juice | 2 sticks unsalted butter | Yucatan Sunshine Habanero Pepper Sauce |
The Day Before:
1. Take the all of the colored peppers & chop them into ½ inch cubes. Pop them in a covered container with a capful (about 2 oz.) of Olive Oil, 4 oz. of Orange Juice, 2 Heaping tablespoons of Minced Garlic, a dash of Cumin, the Jose Cuervo, a little black pepper, & a few drops of the Pepper Sauce (NOTE: This stuff is LEATHAL…1-3 drops is enough to produce a mild warmth, if you like hotter go a little more, but no more than about 10. You’ll be adding some more later, so if you really don’t want it too spicy this is a good time to think “less is more”). Shake until coated & then let sit overnight.
2. Dice ¼ of the white onion, & then wrap & put aside the rest of it. In an oiled frying pan, sauté the onion until lightly brown, & then set aside. Do not drain it off.
3. In a saucepan, melt ¼ stick of butter. When it is liquid, add in a dash of Garlic Powder, a dash of Onion Powder, a dash of Cinnamon, a small tbsp of Minced Garlic, & 4 oz. of Jack Daniels. Bring to a boil, & then add ½ c. of Brown Sugar to the mix, & stir rapidly. As the sugar dissolves, the mixture should begin to thicken considerably, but you my need to sift in some corn starch to get it to thicken up to a syrup-like consistency. Once it thickens, add in the diced onion with the oil, & stir rapidly. Pour the mixture into a container, cover & refrigerate.
The Morning Of:
Thoroughly wash & dry the chicken, cut it into bite size pieces, then place it in a container with the remaining 2 oz. of Jack Daniels, the other 4 oz. of Orange Juice, 2 heaping tbsp of Garlic, 2 oz. of Nellie & Joe’s Lime Juice, a dash of Black Pepper, & 2-3 drops of the Habanero pepper sauce. Slice one of the limes into ¼ inch thick slices, squeeze them into the mixture & then drop them in the container. Seal it. Shake well & let sit in the fridge for the next few hours.
The Time Is Now:
1. Open all of the canned vegetables. Drain everything except one can of black beans, & add them to a large stew pot. Mix the tomato paste with a few drops of the Habanero Pepper sauce, some crushed red pepper, some black pepper, a dash of cumin & some onion powder, & then stir it into the beans. Bring them to a low simmer, & stir occasionally.
2. Take a large skillet, & wipe the bottom with an olive oiled paper towel, Bring the pan to a medium high heat & then add in the Frozen Corn (This will crackle, be careful). Cut the second lime into strips, & then add it to the pan as the corn sizzles. While the corn is frying, stir in 2 oz. of lime juice & some cinnamon, coating the corn thoroughly. If the corn sticks, add oil sparingly.
3. Dice the remaining white onion, & add it to the corn, stirring rapidly until the onion beings to soften, pick out the lime slices & toss them, then add the mixture to the saucepot, & stir.
4. Melt the remaining butter in a small sauce pan, & bring it to a low simmer with a tbsp of Garlic. Cut the Red Onions into quarters, along with a lime & then boil them in the butter until they become flaky & begin to separate. Drain off the butter into a separate container, toss out the lime & then add the onions to the beans & corn.
5. Take the refrigerated pepper mixture & pour it into the saucepan, bringing it to a low simmer for 2-3 minutes, & then add the entire mixture into the pot.
6. Pour a small amount of the butter that you drained from the onions, into the bottom of the frying pan & bring it to a sizzle. Drain the chicken off, & mix the chicken liquid with the remaining butter & set it aside. Blend the Jack Daniels sauce in with the chilled chicken, rolling it in the syrup so that it coats thoroughly. Add the chicken in small amounts to the butter, & once it is cooked add it to the vegetable mixture. As the chicken absorbs the butter, add more of the butter/marinade mixture to keep the pan moist (not soggy) while the chicken sears.
7. Bring the chili mixture to a high simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, & then serve. Garnish with Cheddar cheese & sour cream to taste.
Submitted by TheRob
| 1 lb ground sirloin | 1 lb ground beef | |
| ½ lb thick cut bacon | 1 pkg mild or hot chili season mix | |
| 1 pkg Original Chili season mix | 1-16 oz can Red Beans (or chili beans) | |
| 2-16 oz cans Seasoned Diced tomato sauce | salt & pepper | |
| paprika | chipotle hot sauce (optional) | |
| hot sauce | ¼ c. sugar | |
| ¼ c. dark brown sugar |
1. Add red beans & tomatoes to a large pot. Set to low. Brown ground sirloin in a skillet on medium-high. Add salt & pepper to season. Just a little bit, be sensible.
2. Now is the good part. Take a couple of pinches of your sugar & add to the browning sirloin. Do the same with the brown sugar. If there is a good amount of fat/grease, drain. Leave a little to help with the chili mix.
3. Add the Original Chili season mix to the ground sirloin. Add to the pot with red beans & tomatoes.
4. In a skillet, brown the ground beef. Once again add salt & pepper, pinches of brown & regular sugar.
5. Take chipotle hot sauce & regular hot sauce & add a couple of shakes around the browning beef. (How much you add here determines the real hotness of the chili. None to little for just a sweet & mild chili or more for sweet & hot, & a good amount like me for the real sweet & fire in your mouth!!)
6. Keep the fat/grease & add to pot with red beans, tomatoes, & ground sirloin. Add mild/hot chili seasoning. Slice the bacon into smaller bite sized pieces.
7. In skillet take the thick sliced bacon pieces & cook in previous fat/grease that is left & the seasoning. As the bacon is cooking, add the rest of the sugars to the pot with everything else. When the bacon is finished, add to pot & let simmer.
8. Enjoy with saltine crackers.
Chef’s Note: “Fucking copyrighted”
